Sh't Naruto Says to Kiba
by KibatheWolf97
Summary: All the goofy sh!t Naruto's said to his Bromeo, Kiba. Supposedly, girls with mustaches are confusing and there's no more milk. Read for a laugh, this was based on the popular 'Sh!t *blank* say/s' series. :  One-shot, T for language, shounen-ai KibaNaru !


**Shit Naruto Says to Kiba**

"I don't even _subscribe_ to Konoha Weekly but they just keep sending me them!"

"I just rented Stepninja and Akai's Bloody Hero on DVD! Which one should we watch tonight?"

"Have you seen my impression of the 3rd Hokage?"

"Kiba, where'd you put my socks?"

"So we were at Shikamaru's house, well not Shikamaru's house, it was_ actually_ Sasuke's house but he just lets Shikamaru live there."

"Kiba! Can you _believe_ the Kunai Show is on Netflix Streaming?"

"Your biceps are _huuuuge_, can I_ touch_ em? Oh wait, already touchin' em…"

"I like the strawberry frosted donuts, it just fits my ego better than those chocolate frosted ones. Although Boston Cream is pretty close! What do you think?"

"Kiba, have you seen my orange chopsticks?"

"Remember that night when we got _drunk_ and almost _kissed_? No? Me neither…"

"I _LOVE_ boobs, are you kiddin' me Kiba?"

"Kiba, I can't see, the light's off! Come turn it on for me!"

"That backwards cap isn't cute."

"Kiba, you're stepping on my jacket!"

"That backwards cap is _SO_ cute!"

"Hey Kiba…. _Let's party_."

"Can't you feel that boom ba boomdoom boom ba boomdoom_ baby_ superbass! No? Me neither."

"KIBAAA, THE DAMN SHOWER'S LEAKING AGAIN! COME FIX IT, I'M _NAKED_."

"Do you think I smile too much?"

"I had a girlfriend once but I dumped her because she had a mustache. Mustaches _only_ look good on guys."

"Oh my _god_! We're like, _Bromeo and Juliet!_"

"Kiba, _where_ did you last see that _big_ frying pan in the cabinet? I _need_ it, _now_!"

"_What_? Of course I still like you even though you don't have a mustache!"

"Kibaaaa, we're out of milk and my arm hurts, go get more!"

"I know you're not my slave! I'm not your uke! No wait, maybe I am…"

"I _NEEED_ MILK!"

"Can you believe Lee got that dolphin tattoo? Not to sound bigoted but it's so_ QUEER_!"

"Can you believe Shikamaru got into Konoha University? That hipster don't know _shit_!"

"Kiba, let's go get matching dolphin tattoos. _Right now_."

"I _know_ his IQ is 200! But he still don't know_ shit_! He lives in_ Sasuke's_ house, _damnit_!"

"**You got 1%?** C'mon Kiba, you know 1% is_ the_ shittiest!"

"Okay, if we're _Bro_meo and Juliet, can I be Juliet? No _wait_. That makes _me_ a woman."

"How do you use a tampon? Not like I'm gonna _try_, I just wanna _know_!"

"…. Sakura's such a bitch,_ bless her hear_t."

"Y'know the episode where they're in a hurricane and they're all dressed like _nuns_? No? Me neither…"

"Damn, she looks _cute_ with that mustache"

"**shit**….. it's not Friday."

"I'd tap that… but with my eyes closed, don't worry."

"I shouldn't have spent $80 on candles? _YOU_ shouldn't have spent $130 on networking hardware!"

"If we were a reality show, I would _totally_ DVR it!"

"Kiba! Can you tell Akamaru to stop _eating_ my _peanut butter_? It's just so _weird_!"

"No... He just jumps up when I'm tryin' to eat some Skippy and _knocks_ the jar out of my hands!"

"I _can't_ eat peanut butter without some _milk_, Kiba!"

"Why is everyone going so nuts about this Anthony Weiner dude? HE'S NOT EVEN _CUTE_."

"UGH! Damn dog did it _again_!"

"I'm a man, we chop trees and grow beards, well, not me personally, but I know a few people, that might know people.. with beards"

"I could pick you out in a crowd of tall people!"

"Kiba, stop sayin' stupid shit."

"do you write LOL after everything you post even though it's not really an LOL? kinda makes you look like a_ ditzy blonde_ that _laughs_ at everything she says. Lol"

"I wonder what it'd be like to ride a_ motorcycle._"

"Do you know how to ride a motorcycle? No? Me neither…"

"Kiba, let's go get matching motorcycle tattoos!_ Right now._"

"_EVERY SINGLE GAY BAR_ is advertising a "free champagne toast at midnight" for their New Year's Eve parties. I'm waiting for the first innovative promoter to advertise "free toast at midnight". Bonus points if they offer me a whole wheat option"

"Kiba, I agree with you. I like pets but not cats. They're created by _pharmaceutical companies_ to sell _antihistamines_"

"Okay, I stole that off Wikipedia. But it's true."

"Kiba, you should grow a_ mustache._"  
>"Kiba, why is Stephen Hawking a <em>robot<em>?"  
>"Kiba, why don't <em>girl dogs<em> get _periods_?"  
>"Kiba, is that <em>face paint<em> or _fang tattoos_ on your face? They _better_ be face paint cuz we _have_ to get our first tattoos _together_!"  
>"Kiba, you <em>better<em> not be giving me the silent treatment!"  
>"Kiba… do I sound<em> gay<em> to you? Cuz I am. I fuckin' love you, Bromeo… I do, I fuckin' do."

"Ah Naruto, I guess we're about as straight as rainbows... I fuckin' love you too, Juliet." said Kiba**_  
><em>**

_((A.N.: teehee, the idea came from various 'Shit _ Say' videos on Youtube x) review, favorite, whatever. Just don't get butthurt, this wasn't meant to insult anyone. I totally support all sexualities and I'm not trying to be mean. I wrote this just for fun, I hope y'all had a good laugh because wouldn't Naruto say shit like this to Kiba? Or Sasuke? Or whoever you want? xD BROMEO AND JULIET!))_


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